


Double Dating

by kitkatkaylie



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Attempt at humour, Fluff, M/M, Minor Bran Stark/Jojen Reed - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-14
Updated: 2020-05-14
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:02:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24178630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kitkatkaylie/pseuds/kitkatkaylie
Summary: Double dates are always fun. Unless of course, your brother and your boyfriend are of a competitive nature.
Relationships: Satin Flowers/Jon Snow, Theon Greyjoy/Robb Stark
Comments: 3
Kudos: 61





	Double Dating

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by a text post by @northernfieldsforever on tumblr

There was a moment when Robb looked around at the three other people he was sharing a table with and wondered just how much he would have laughed had someone told him a few years ago that one day Jon and Theon would be arguing over who was prettiest.

He wasn’t really surprised that Jon’s boyfriend was egging them on, Satin may have looked like butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth but he had a wicked sense of humour. More than once a joke that Satin had made had caused even Theon to blush, and Robb knew just how difficult that could be.

The fact that Theon had been the one to suggest a double date of all things really made the whole situation even more surreal.

“I’m just saying Snow, you may have pretty, pretty curls but my face is far more lovely than yours.”

Satin let out a snort at that declaration of Theon’s, “Well I mean if you think  rugged is pretty then sure, you’re pretty. If you want to go by the actual definition though...”

He trailed off, leaving Theon gaping at him in a strange sort of offence and Jon looking at him like he had hung the moon.

Not that Jon looking at Satin like that was much different from normal really.

“Aren’t you going to defend me Robb?” Theon turned to him with an indignant sort of outrage.

Robb tapped his chin and pretended to think about it, “Hmm, defend my brother or defend the man who I live with and love. That is a very difficult decision.”

Theon squawked at his words and flailed his arms, nearly knocking over his own and Robb’s coffees.

“Before you make your choice Robb, remember I still have those pictures.” Jon said, a crafty grin on his face.

“Ooh, what pictures are those?” Satin turned to his boyfriend expectantly before a grin overtook his face, “Wait, are you talking about the pictures from Sansa’s last birthday?”

Jon leaned back and smiled in self satisfaction, “Oh yes. And the video too. I’m sure Aunt Cat in particular would be interested in the impression you did of her.”

Robb winced, that was a low blow. His brother fought dirty when he wanted to. All his siblings did really, a trait they had definitely got from their father, who despite popular opinion could be very sneaky when he wanted to. Family games of Risk alone confirmed that. 

He held up his hands, “Sorry Theon, looks like I’m neutral in this argument. Jon’s blackmail is just too good.”

Theon pouted at him, and Robb could feel his resolve waver slightly. He looked away and sipped his coffee to prevent him from folding, Jon’s blackmail was too good for him to fold for Theon’s pout.

Satin let out a wicked laugh at that, “Looks like you’re all alone Greyjoy.” 

Theon balled up his napkin and threw it so it bounced off Satin’s forehead, “Jon, control your boytoy.”

Jon levelled Theon with the driest look Robb had ever seen.

“I don’t control him. Besides  _he_ isn’t the boytoy in this relationship.”

Robb wished he could shut his ears and remove the last few minutes of memory from his brain. That was more about his brother’s relationship than he had ever wanted to know.

It seemed that Theon agreed for he flung his hands over his ears and shuddered dramatically.

“That is more information than I ever wanted to know about you Snow.” Theon whined.

“What?” Jon’s tone was deceptively, deliberately innocent, “The boytoy is the younger of the pair, is it not? And I am younger than Satin.”

Satin stretched so his arm curled around Jon’s shoulder and he smirked lasciviously. “You see Theon, I speak from a well informed point of view. Jon is definitely the prettiest of all of us, it’s those fine Targaryen cheekbones of his.”

Jon his his face in his boyfriend’s side but Robb could still see the red of his blush tinting his ears.

Robb turned to his own boyfriend and shot him a look he knew Theon had trouble arguing against, “Are you going to admit defeat now love?”

Theon scowled but nodded begrudgingly, “Fine. Snow is the prettiest. But I’m definitely better in bed.”

The smirk that filled Jon’s face as he lifted his head from Satin’s shoulder made a feeling of dread pool in Robb’s stomach.

“Are you sure about that? Only, you and Robb have trouble staying quiet sometimes and it certainly doesn’t sound like you’re rocking his world.”

And now it was Robb’s turn to blush, and as Jon’s words fully registered he looked up at his brother in horror.

“Oh yes.” Jon answered his unasked question, “We’ve all heard you. Why did you think Arya would giggle every time she saw you for ages?”

That- That was disturbing on so many levels. Humiliating as well. Robb was so pleased he and Theon had moved out as it meant he could delay having to look upon his baby siblings with his new found knowledge.

Their phones all suddenly went off at the same time, and Robb was surprised to see a text from Bran.

_ Jojen is prettier than any of you. Better in bed too. _

“Hey Robb, your little brother is creepy. How the fuck did he know what we were talking about?” Theon complained.

Jon shrugged, “Its Bran. He knows everything or so it seems. Sansa is convinced that he hacks into security cameras, Rickon thinks he’s magic.”

“Wait,” Robb said, confused about something in Bran’s message, “Bran and Jojen are dating?”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> If you liked it and want to chat find me on tumblr @istaricelebelasse


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